I feel a lot better now that I’m home. It’s not that I like Garden Grove better than San Diego (of course home is where the heart is)… BUTTTT I just feel a lot better away from SD for the time being. That being said, my brother and his wife are in Vietnam, so I get my room back temporarily for a weekend! Omg, it’s going to feel so great having a single AND my room back. Good deal ! But that would make me soooooo not want to back to SD.
You know the expression don’t shop when you’re hungry? It’s kind of like a new expression I’m going to make up “Don’t blog when you’re moody”. Seriously, for the past 36+ hours or so, I’ve been deeply contemplating WHY I KEEP GETTING REJECTED.
Lambda Chi Alpha = FAIL. But then again, in retrospect, they were not the group of guys I would really want to hang out with a daily, weekly, or even monthly basis. But it hurt at the time.
Camp Kesem = Seriously. I really wanted to help kids, but I guess they thought I wasn’t good enough to? I have no clue.
I’m not even going to bother to mention girls here, but I think we all know now who rejected me.
Student Health Advocate = I realize not having any kind of science background might prevent me from working in a clinic, but still that’s what training is for….
AND BAM! I also get rejected by the Warren College Res Deans in my strong desire to become a Resident Advisor at UCSD. And I have no idea why. Because I would have done all they would ask me to, done more to help my residents; not to mention I don’t party or drink, so I would have been a relatively positive role model.
So the only question I have left is what to do from this point on. Will my self esteem get affected by this rejection? Of course. Will I move on? Eventually. Where do I live next year? I have options, mostly which are revolved around living either on-campus or off-campus.
I realize if I had blogged a few hours earlier in the day, or yesterday, I would SERIOUSLY had sad some very emotional stuff that I’m not too keen about talking about. It got me thinking. Are the 24 resolutions I put in place strong enough to pull me through this? I don’t know right now… All I know is escape is the only weapon I can use. A weekend back home will cheer me up, hopefully enough to that when I get back to SD, the rejection won’t sting as much.
I cannot let this affect my self-esteem. I have to deal with it. I have to move in. I have to make new goals and push forward. Have a good Valentine’s Day (Single awareness day), President’s Day (George Washington’s birthday), and Chinese New Years (Lunar New Year) everybody.
